11.66 points.

That’s the margin by which I just lost what would have been my third straight fantasy football championship…and my fifth in six years. Now if you’re not into sports or fantasy football and you’re tempted to immediately stop reading, please don’t. My thoughts tonight are not about sports or silly games of no consequence; my thoughts are about decisions.

Friday night, after careful study and consideration of my championship game roster, I changed out Julio Jones, whom I drafted at the beginning of the season, for A.J. Green, whom I picked up as a free agent earlier this year. By and large, Green has had a better year, but as of late, Jones has been hot while Green has been injured. Nonetheless I made the change. When all was said and done, Green scored 5.00 points; Jones scored 16.80 while riding my bench. Yeah…that’s right. If I hadn’t made that change, I would have won another championship…by the slimmest of margins, despite two key injuries at the end of the season and abysmal performances by two other key contributors.

So why am I still talking about fantasy football if this isn’t really about sports? Because it’s about decisions. That one decision…harmless, sensible, well-thought-out and calculated, ultimately spelled my demise after a nearly flawless season, literally the best, most dominating season of fantasy football I’ve ever had.

Decisions. Decisions matter.

Every day we are faced with hundreds of decisions. What to do. Where to go. Who to love. On December 6, 2011, I was faced with hundreds of decisions, too, some of them more important than others. However, the biggest decision I faced that day turned out to be one that I got wrong. And it nearly cost someone I love her life…and has cost her a quality of life that may never be recovered.

The day started like any other…workout, breakfast with the kids, a healthy dose of homeschool curriculum, and then lunch with my Mom. My Mom comes over for lunch nearly every day, a little tradition I started a while back. But Tuesday, December 6 was a little different. Mom was late. The kids and I had already started eating, and by the time she got there, I sensed that something was wrong [which didn't take a genius].

“Sorry I’m late. I’m dizzy. Something’s wrong [told you it didn't take a genius]. I keep bumping into things,” she said as she sat down at the table.

You wouldn’t believe the first words that came out of my mouth. “You don’t think you’re having a stroke, do you?”

As the words left my lips, every warning bell rang. That voice in my head taunted me. “A stroke?! Really?! Hypochondriac alert…you’re turning into your mother. Settle down, Beavis!” [I don't know why my subconscious refers to me as Beavis, but it beats the alternative, eh McFly?]

“I don’t think so,” my Mom said calmly as she wiggled her arms, legs, fingers, and toes to show me everything was okay.

“Okay, but if you’re not better by the time lunch is over, we’re going to the ER.”

Lunch passed. I sat down at the lunch table to grade my son’s math work as my Mom was finishing up. “Are you feeling better?” I asked.

“Yeah, I am. I’m going to drive home while I’m feeling good,” she said confidently.

“Okay, but if you start feeling that way again, call me. We’re going to the ER.” It seemed like such a logical, well-thought-out decision. I’m good at those. At least I thought I was. But the rest of this story…and 11.66 points…prove otherwise.

I didn’t hear from her for hours. Finally around 6:30 or 7:00, about four to five hours later, I drove down to her house. She was asleep on the couch. When she awakened, I asked her how she was feeling. She said she was dizzy. When she stood, she couldn’t walk without holding on to something. “That’s it; we’re going the ER,” I said.

“Can’t we wait until Thursday?” she asked. “I go to see my doctor Thursday.”

“I’m taking you to the ER right now. You can call your doctor first, if you want, but that’s it. Either call him right now or we’re going,” I insisted. The on-call doctor concurred, and off we went.

By 11:00 PM Tuesday night, the doctors were convinced Mom had had a mild stroke or TIA, as evidenced by some moderate weakness on her left side. They admitted her overnight. When I left her at 2:00 AM, she smiled at me, and I saw the first signs that they might be right. Her right side smiled; her left side did not.

By the time I arrived at the hospital the next morning, kids in tow, she had limited movement on her left side. She was having trouble getting in and out of the hospital bed. Her health continued to decay. A myriad of tests finally revealed a “minor stroke in a bad spot.” By Thursday morning, she couldn’t move her left side at all; everything was dead. Her “minor stroke in a bad spot” had become an “extended stroke.” The hospital was consulting with the state’s best medical experts.

Mom was crushed. She always said that she wanted to live to be 150, but only if she could maintain her health and indepedence. In less than 48 hours, both had been ripped from her cruelly, savagely, unapologetically. Cognitively she remained sharp, for which I am grateful beyond words; however her acumen seemed to only intensify the psychological effects of the stroke. Irony can be cruel.

Three weeks have passed since that Tuesday at lunch. Mom has spent the last two weeks in an in-patient rehab facility, where she receives three hours of daily therapy and watches the clock tick, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, second-by-second – that is, when she’s able to see the clock; she also lost 50%-75% of her vision in her left eye. She can only eat ground food and drink nectar-thickened liquids because of the risks of choking and aspiration.

Today, for the first time in nearly three weeks, she walked. During rehab she took six steps. She was so excited. There was a light in her eyes. I haven’t seen that light in three weeks. Her leg hasn’t moved in nearly three weeks. Today it did.

I am so grateful to God, to her doctors, to her nurses, and to her therapists for their grace, wisdom, hard work, and dedication. Yet I can’t get away from one simple word: decisions. Decisions matter. Most decisions we make have no long-term consequences. Should I brush my teeth before or after my shower? Should I eat at Quiznos or Subway? Paper or plastic? Boxers or briefs? Truth or dare? But every once in a while, a biggie comes along, a HUGE decision that will shape the course of our lives…and the lives of the people we love most. And that decision won’t be wrapped in a bow, warning label, or disclaimer. It won’t don a flashing neon sign or gaudy banner. Instead it will seem just like all the others…until you see its end…and are suddenly faced with the reality that you inadvertently made a life-altering decision the same way you make all your other decisions.

Had I taken my Mom to the hospital at lunch that Tuesday, Christmas this past Sunday would have been different. She likely would have driven the mile from her house to mine the way she has every year for the last thirteen. Instead I picked her up from a hospital thirty miles away thanks to a day-pass, pushed her around my house in a wheelchair, and took her back that evening so she could continue her treatment.

Now let me be clear…this isn’t a pity-party, so please don’t try to console me. I’m not looking for sympathy or affirmation. This isn’t even about me; in fact, it’s not really even about my Mom. The truth is…it’s about decisions. Decisions matter. Sometimes your decisions will cost you a fifth title in six years in fantasy football, meaning that you might lose by 11.66 points…instead of winning by .14.

Then again…sometimes they might cost someone you love everything she holds dear.

Decisions matter.

Choose wisely.

Copyright 2011 www.prestonroydparrish.com.

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I have seen this highlight shown over and over since Monday night. And without exception, every commentator has marveled at Gibson’s “facial” on Wade. They’ve laughed about it! They’ve intimated that Wade should be embarrassed! They’ve assailed him while lauding Gibson!

Which leads me to a simple question…

Why do we ridicule failure?

I just don’t get it. It was a fast-break. Gibson was running at nearly full speed. It would have been EASY for Wade to pack it in, to assume that he couldn’t stop the charging Gibson, who had two teammates on either side to which he could have passed the ball at any time. It was 3 on 1. But Wade didn’t back down. He stuck with the play! He refused to give up, even if the Bulls scored, even if it meant that he would forever be posterized by the marketing masters and piranha pundits of the shoe companies and media moguls.

I, for one, am tired of it. I’m bored with the fickle fanaticism of today’s consumer. We expect our athletes to try, to give us everything they’ve got. And then the moment that they do that, that they risk it all, that they put themselves in a position where the chances of succeeding are a million-to-one, we pounce! We ridicule them! We laugh at them! We CELEBRATE their failure!

And that’s exactly what this has been…a celebration of failure! It hasn’t been a celebration of a great triumph. It was a two-point play! The game ended up a blow-out! And any rational person would conclude that the taller Gibson SHOULD have converted that dunk; it would have been a miracle if the shorter Wade had managed to block the shot from such a defensive posture.

The point is simple. Celebrate the Bulls. Go ahead. They won a game. Hooray. Celebrate Gibson…it was a great play and really helped to keep the momentum in the Bulls’ corner for the remainder of the night. But if you can only celebrate one thing…celebrate Dwyane Wade, and his commitment to stand NO MATTER the cost to his image or his legacy!

I’ve seen Tim Duncan get dunked on by virtually every star in the NBA over the last fifteen years. And you know what? He NEVER quits trying! He ALWAYS goes back up! More times than not, he’s posterized. But Duncan doesn’t seem to care! And neither should you! Oh, and by the way…Duncan is widely considered to be the best power forward in NBA history!

I celebrate athletes who aren’t afraid to try and fail! And I celebrate people who aren’t afraid of that, either! Yeah…it was just a stupid basketball game. And it was just one play in the game. But it was so much more than that. It was a microcosm of human behavior. You have those that succeed, that give their best and score. You have those that fail, that give everything they have, even though they know it’s probably not enough to win every time. And then you have those that sit on the sidelines and celebrate FAILURE while they warm their seats! And those people don’t win at anything. Ever.

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I originally wrote this as a small group discussion, but I have altered the form

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a dead-end situation?  Maybe it was a job or a volunteer position.  Maybe it seemed like your gifts and talents were being completely ignored or wasted.  Maybe you felt supremely overqualified for what you were being asked to do, yet you saw no hope of promotion or advancement anywhere in the foreseeable future.  None of us like to feel this way – misunderstood, underutilized, and underappreciated.  In fact, we’d all like to think that our talents and unique skills make us immune from these types of challenges.  But they don’t, do they?  No matter how special we may see ourselves, no matter how special God created us to be, sometimes we just can’t escape the perils of poor leadership, impossible situations, and our own unmet expectations!

Think of a time when you found yourself in a situation in which you felt completely overqualified and undervalued.  How did you handle the situation?  If you had it to do over again, would you do anything differently?

King Saul wrestled with jealousy for years as a result of David’s success on the battlefield!  “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands,” they sang as they celebrated Israel’s victory over the Philistines the day David killed Goliath!  From that moment on, Saul could see the writing on the wall, and he knew that his days as king were numbered.  However, some people can relate more with David than with Saul.  To them, greener pastures are always out there, and the promise of greatness always seems just one step away, just beyond their reach!  That was certainly the story of David, who, as a teenager, was anointed king of the land and won a great battle for his country!  Yet every step forward seemed inevitably accompanied by two steps back, to the point that he found himself running for his life in the wilderness for over ten years as Saul closed in to eliminate his “competition” once and for all!

Read 1 Samuel 24:1-7 NLT:

1 After Saul returned from fighting the Philistines, he was told that David had gone into the wilderness of En-gedi. 2 So Saul chose 3,000 elite troops from all Israel and went to search for David and his men near the rocks of the wild goats. 3 At the place where the road passes some sheepfolds, Saul went into a cave to relieve himself. But as it happened, David and his men were hiding farther back in that very cave! 4 “Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today the Lord is telling you, ‘I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.’” So David crept forward and cut off a piece of the hem of Saul’s robe. 5 But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. 6 “The Lord knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul.

Some noteworthy highlights…

Saul enlisted 3,000 elite troops.  David, too, had a small contingent of men following him, but they were outnumbered 6 to 1 by Saul’s small army (vv. 1-2).

Saul went into the cave to use the bathroom, unaware that David and his men were hiding in the back of it (v. 3).

David’s men urged him to use the awkward situation to his advantage, which presumably meant either killing or capturing Saul (v. 4).

At first David crept forward and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe.  But then his conscience got the best of him so he refused to allow any harm to come to Saul.  His rationale was that Saul was God’s “anointed one.”  Ironically, it was David who was God’s new “anointed one” (he had been anointed to be king over Israel because God had rejected Saul as the king – 1 Samuel 16:1-13); yet he didn’t use this knowledge to his advantage and end Saul’s reign once and for all (vv. 4-7).

Saul had already tried to kill David on numerous occasions, and he had given David’s wife (who happened to be Saul’s daughter) to another man.  As if all of that weren’t enough to cause David to lose respect for Saul’s leadership, seeing Saul in such an awkward, vulnerable position almost certainly should have eliminated any residual reverence that David held for Saul.  Yet it didn’t.  Why do you think David was able to maintain respect for Saul in spite of all that Saul had done to him?  Why do you think it’s so difficult for us to maintain respect for the people “above” us who seem intent on holding us back, stifling our growth, or deliberately hurting us?

The cliché goes like this: “Respect isn’t given; it’s earned.”  Yet, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth!  Peter wrote this: “13 For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, 14 or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. 15 It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. 16 For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. 17 Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. Fear God, and respect the king. 18 You who are slaves must accept the authority of your masters with all respect. Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel. 19 For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment.” 1 Peter 2:13-19 NLT  If God expected slaves to show respect for their masters even when they were treated unfairly, then surely He expects us to show respect foreveryone, even those that hurt us, mistreat us, and/or purposely hold us back! Ouch!  That’s hard to swallow!

What do you think it means to be God’s “anointed one”?  Do you think a person’s “anointing” should factor into the way that we treat them?

The Hebrew word that David used to describe Saul was mashiyach, the same word that was used to describe Jesus as the Messiah.  Anointed means to be consecrated, or dedicated to the service of God.  According to Peter (see above), all authority has been established by God, even if/when it fails to live up to its anointing!  We should respect everyone as God’s anointed, because everyone has been called by God to greatness, even if they’ve yet to dedicate themselves to such an endeavor!

David could have killed Saul easily, and very few people would have faulted him for it.  Even Saul’s son, Jonathan (Saul’s legal successor), supported David’s rise to the throne.  Yet David refused to assume power through a violent overthrow, convinced that it wasn’t God’s will, even though it seemed like God had orchestrated these events for exactly that outcome.  How are we supposed to know whether or not the “opportunities” that are before us to “get ahead” in life are from God?

One thing is certain: this incident was an opportunity that God gave as a gift to David.  However, it wasn’t an opportunity to become king!  Instead, it was an opportunity for David to demonstrate his respect for the authority that God had placed in his life!  And David didn’t miss the opportunity; he seized it!  God will send us opportunities, too.  But sometimes those opportunities will require counterintuitive responses, just like David’s opportunity did.  We can evaluate our options based on a few simple criteria:

• Which choice is in alignment with what the Bible teaches about authority, respect, and loving others the way we love ourselves?
• Which choice lines up with what we sensing God is saying to us in prayer, through our circumstances, and through the advice of other trustworthy people?
• Which choice is honoring to God, honoring to someone claiming to be His follower (that’s us!), and honoring to the other people involved?

What might David have learned from his experience under Saul’s leadership?  Do you think God still uses bad leadership to help us become more like Him?

David probably learned a lot about leadership, both good and bad, from Saul.  He likely learned how dangerous jealousy, envy, and unbridled anger can be.  He probably learned that God could protect him no matter how great the odds were (facing an army was even more daunting than facing a lion, bear, or giant, after all)!  And he definitely learned that God is the author of authority!  No matter how negligent, incompetent, or abusive a leader may be, we can always learn from him/her and use those lessons to become more like Jesus!

When God promised Abraham a son, He fulfilled that promise twenty-five years later!  When He promised to flood the earth, He fulfilled that promise as many as one hundred years later!  And when God promised mankind a Savior, He fulfilled that promise 4,000 years later!  The point?  God always keeps His promises, and here are two of them!

• “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
• “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”  Luke 16:10 NLT

God is calling us to trust Him and be faithful!  He knows where we are, and He has great plans for our lives!  Don’t give up…and don’t give in!  No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, take the high road and trust that God always keeps His promises; He has great plans for you and always rewards the faithful!  And never forget that others are watching to see how you handle the “opportunities” that are before you!

“Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”  1 Timothy 4:12b NLT

What’s more difficult for you to do: trust that God has good plans for you or trust that the people He’s placed in authority over you won’t mess it all up?

Is there an “opportunity” in your life right now in which you are struggling with knowing how you should respond?

What practical step is God calling you to take as a result of this Bible study?

Copyright 2010 prestonroydparrish.com

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I originally wrote this as a small group discussion, but I have altered the formatting slightly to be more blog-friendly.  It was used in November 2010 for the Community Groups of The Refuge on Hilton Head Island, SC.  I hope you enjoy…

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT

Hurt and disappointment can rob us of genuine community in our lives.  Given enough time and opportunity, eventually everyone will let us down.  After all, we’re all fallen creatures.  But what happens when we’re the ones doing the hurting?  What happens when we realize that we aren’t the victim but rather the culprit?  Is there a way to avoid marring our relationships and scarring those who trust us with their hearts?!  Or better yet, is there a way to repair the damage that we’ve inflicted in the lives of others simply because of our own frailty and brokenness?!  Can broken community ever be truly mended?

Do you think you’ve been on the giving or the receiving end of the majority of the hurt in your past and current relationships?

Peter understood what it meant to be the ripple of dysfunction in an otherwise healthy relationship.  His denial of Jesus is probably one of the most famous acts of betrayal in human history.  Not only was it incredibly disloyal, but it was also devastatingly untimely, as it occurred during Jesus’ darkest hours on earth!  Fortunately for Peter, Jesus didn’t wait on him to seek out reconciliation; on the contrary, He sought Peter out, intent on restoring their relationship without regard to the suffering He had endured at the hands of one of His closest friends.  But what happens when the person we’ve hurt doesn’t seek out reconciliation?  What should we do when we’re responsible for the break in community and the ball is in our court?

Read Matthew 5:21-26 NLT:

21 “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ 22 But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. 23 So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. 25 “When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.

Some noteworthy highlights…

Jesus says that committing murder and getting angry with someone both make us subject to judgment (v. 22). Note that he didn’t say that getting angry would necessarily lead to judgment, but clearly He was teaching that it could and should be handled with great care!

Jesus says that calling someone an idiot puts you in danger of being brought before the court and cursing him/her puts you in danger of the fires of hell (v. 22).

Jesus doesn’t say that the person who has something against someone else should leave their sacrifice at the altar and seek reconciliation with the person with whom they are angry; rather, He says that the person who knows that someone else has something against him/her should leave his/her sacrifice at the altar and seek to be reconciled with that person before offering their sacrifice to God (vv. 23-24)!

Jesus says that we should settle our differences quickly because our accusers may hand us over to a judge, who will turn us over to an officer, who will throw us into prison until we’ve paid our debt in full (vv. 25-26).

When columnists and talk show hosts do it, we accuse them of being ratings-whores.  Yet Jesus wasn’t at all shy about using extreme analogies, equating the potential consequences of murder with the potential consequences of anger.  We know that He wasn’t trying to land a book deal or garner more advertising revenue; so why do you think He resorted to such sensationalism?

Sometimes it takes something shocking to get our attention.  Jesus knew that murder was one of the “biggies,” one of those horrific sins that was universally accepted as being particularly heinous, evil, and worthy of punishment.  By comparing the consequences of murder with the consequences of anger, Jesus was being frank about the potentially devastating effects of broken community in our lives.

The Greek word for court in verse 23 is synedrion, the same word used to describe the Jewish High Council, the Sanhedrin.  The Sanhedrin consisted of two major factions, the Pharisees and the Sadducees [SAD ju sees], and included the chief priests, the elders, and the scribes.  These men had the power to excommunicate and even condemn to death any Jew not abiding by their traditions (though the Romans didn’t always allow them to carry out capital punishment).  If you’re honest, you’d probably admit that the punishment of a public trial didn’t seem to fit the crime of name-calling.  Likewise, on the surface cursing someone wouldn’t seem to warrant the threat of Hell.  So what can we infer regarding the potentially devastating consequences of our words on Biblical community?

Jesus implies that the deeper the break in community, the greater the potential for disaster.  Anger, He says, can lead to judgment, name-calling to a court date, and cursing someone to Hell.  Each step represents an escalation in action followed by an escalation in potential consequences.  Our anger can cause us to become the guilty party, no matter what someone else has done to us; that’s judgment!  With our own critical words, we can literally excommunicate ourselves from the church by destroying Biblical community; that’s “the court.”  And when we curse others, we judge and condemn them, literally driving a wedge between us and God; and that’s Hell!  Be careful!  Biblical community is very fragile!

The Greek word for sacrifice in verse 24 (doron) literally means a gift or present.  Why do you think Jesus said we should seek to restore Biblical community with the people we’ve offended before we attempt to be reconciled with God?

Gifts were offered to God at the altar for two main reasons: as an offering of worship and as a sacrifice for the atonement of sins.  Jesus made it clear that our relationship with Him hinges on our relationships with other people.  If community with others is broken in our lives, then our communion with Him is incomplete…and so is our worship!  If we’re not reconciled with the people He has placed in our lives, then we’re not fully reconciled with Him, either!  God takes broken community very seriously!

Sometimes people have something against us for good reason.  Other times, they don’t.  Should our culpability (whether or not we’ve done something wrong) affect the way we handle broken community in our lives?

Jesus didn’t tell us to be reconciled with our brother only when it’s our fault.  His instructions were clear: if someone has something against you, do everything in your power to make it right.  Even when we’re not responsible for the conflict in our relationships, Jesus put the responsibility for reconciliation squarely on our shoulders.  And if we fail to take that responsibility seriously, the consequences of broken community will manifest themselves in our lives one way or another, even if we weren’t at fault initially!  We might be judged by others, we might excommunicate ourselves from the community of faith, or we might allow the Devil to drive a wedge in our relationship with God!

Be careful.  It can be so easy to see the pain inflicted on us by others and yet so difficult to see the pain we inflict on them!  We’re so quick to point out the splinter in the eye of our neighbor while the beam coming from our own eye stretches even farther than our own outstretched finger!  So what should we do?  Put down the gift!  Get up from the altar!  And go make things right, no matter who’s at fault!  Community is hanging in the balance!

Think of a time when your actions in a relationship damaged or destroyed Biblical community.  What would you do differently if you had it to do over again?

When someone has something against you (warranted or not), is it harder for you to seek reconciliation when you really are the one to blame or when you’re actually not the one to blame?

Is there someone in your life who has something against you?  What practical step will you take within the next 24 hours to restore the broken community of that relationship?

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If there’s one thing that drives me crazy, it’s poor writing.  For at least four years, the writing was superb.  But the last two years revealed that even the best writers need fresh projects.  Another of my favorite shows, also in decline, has demonstrated this principle soundly for three or four seasons now.  Not surprisingly, 24 will also be airing its series finale this week, and only four seasons too late!  Would that all writers were at least as practical (if not as brilliant) as Jerry Seinfeld!

Okay…so here’s just ONE of my MANY gripes about the series finale!  They ended season 5 with the possibility that the hygrogen bomb had undone EVERYTHING that had happened on the island.  And so as we began watching season 6, we quickly learned that the writers would entertain and extend this mystery by implementing a series of “flash sideways,” an alternate reality for the characters had the island been sunk by the bomb in the 1970s.  Fine.  But if they were bent on going that route, they should have found a better way to reconcile everything in the end!  PURGATORY was NOT the answer!  In fact in hindsight, Richard’s “Hell Theory” wasn’t far off…FOR US!

The whole purgatory thing has been done…again and again.  Ever heard of The Sixth Sense?!  How about Passengers?!  Seriously?!  After years of brilliance, you take the cheap, easy, over-done way out?!  You’re better than that, LOST!  Or at least…you were for four seasons!

Yeah, I know…it’s just a TV show.  But I bought in.  And now…LOST has never seemed more apropos!

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If I’m lost without excuse or explanation,

If I spurn Your gentle advances,

even there Your Spirit nudges me,

and Your constance assures me.

It doesn’t matter what I do,

nor where I choose to go-

because wherever I find myself, literally or figuratively,

You are already there.

My decisions are but a ripple in the ocean of Your constance.

The way You have designed me,

the virgin mold that cast me,

is more than I could ever have hoped for,

a blessing both unearned and unlearned.

When I was lost, despondent, helpless, and hopeless,

You orchestrated my rescue, time and time again.

You saw goodness and potential that existed only in your imagination,

until Your words spoke them into existence

and Your breath brought them to life.

I can’t understand how I could constantly be on Your mind, O God,

how You could always see the best,

even when I’m at my worst.

Your constance is the only explanation

for Your consideration and companionship,

which are hidden only by the eyelids of my soul!

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Good morning, everyone!  Welcome to The Refuge!  We are so honored to get to worship with you today!  If you are here for the first time, we want you to know that you are in a safe place…no matter where you are on your spiritual journey, you belong here…and it is our prayer that we all leave this place a little closer to God than when we arrived!

This week we are concluding our series entitled, “Presence: The Real Gift of Christmas,” and the basic premise of the series is this.  Two thousand years ago Jesus was the first Christmas present, but today the real gift of Christmas is the Holy Spirit, God’s consistent presence in our lives!  And even though it’s a little taboo to talk about, we believe that if God exists, and if He was able to create everything…the stars, the oceans, the planets, life itself…then something as simple as speaking probably isn’t out of the realm of possibility.  In other words, we believe that God speaks…today…and that He has been speaking all along.  And we believe that He speaks today through His Holy Spirit.

In Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby talks about the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives, and he says that the Holy Spirit speaks to us in at least four different ways.  And so we have been delving into those ways each week.  We talked about how the Holy Spirit often speaks to us through other people, through Scripture, through prayer, and through circumstances.  And last week we concluded by talking about the importance of alignment, of not relying on any one of these methods at the exclusion of the others…SQUIRREL! (To get this reference, check out The Gift of Circumstances after you read the rest of this post.).   When God speaks in one way, He most often confirms what He has spoken in some other way.  So someone will say something that sounds like it came from God, and then you’ll read something in Scripture that confirms that.  Or you’ll feel like God is leading you in prayer to do something, and then the circumstances of your life will line up perfectly to facilitate that.  The important thing, we said, when it comes to hearing God when He speaks to us, is to look for alignment.

God is speaking; we just have to be willing to seek Him out and listen!

Paul explained it like this while speaking before the Areopagus at Mars Hill in Athens [one of my favorites]:

²⁷ [God’s] purpose was for the nations to seek after [him] and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us.  Acts 17:27 NLT

It’s like trying to find a light switch in a dark room; we have to feel our way through the darkness of this world and find Him if we expect Him to speak to us!  So today, for the final Sunday of 2009, our topic is “The Gift of Uncertainty.”  And I want to try to answer a question that has been driving people insane for thousands of years…and this is it.

“If God can speak, and if God does speak, then why doesn’t He just go ahead and tell me everything I need to know…RIGHT NOW?”

I mean…have you ever asked God for something (and most of us have asked God for things, whether we consider ourselves Christians or not.  Most of us have asked God for mercy…or for guidance…or for healing…or for something).  So have you ever asked God for something specific, like, “What am I supposed to do with my life?”  Or “What am I supposed to do now?”  Or “What am I supposed to do next?”  I mean why is that even necessary?

Why can’t God just sit us down, give us the plan, and send us on our way?  Come on, be honest…have you ever felt like that before?

“God, why won’t you just tell me?!”

(Random digression: this makes me think of the Seinfeld episode when people keep mistakenly calling Kramer to get movie information until he eventually starts playing along: “Why don’t you just tell me the movie you want to see?!”  Good times…)

Anyway, the disciples found themselves in a very similar situation just before the death of Jesus.  All month long, we’ve been talking about the birth of Jesus, but as significant as His birth was, it was certainly no more significant than His death.  And He had already told His disciples that He was going to die soon.  And then the night before it happened, He washed their feet and told them that He was going to be betrayed.  And so they were very confused because it seemed like every time they expected “A” to happen, “B” happened, instead.  In fact in the three years they had spent following Jesus, very rarely had anything gone the way they had expected it to go.  And so here they are, unsure of what’s going to happen next, but sure that it’s not how they would have drawn it up.  Sound familiar?  And then Jesus said this:

⁶“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. ² There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? ³ When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. ⁴ And you know the way to where I am going.” ⁵ “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” [My thought, not Scripture: Ever felt like that? I have NO IDEA what’s going on or what will happen next! Okay, back to Scripture.] ⁶ Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.  John 14:1-6 NLT

Now most of us have probably heard this last verse.  Jesus boldly claims that He is the only way to get to Heaven, but this is a stark contrast from what most people believe in our world.  Most people do not believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven.  In fact, did you know that many Christians do not even believe this?  A 2007 study conducted by Pew Forum on Religious and Public Life revealed that 70% of Americans and 57% of evangelical churchgoers believe that many religions can lead to eternal life.  Yet Jesus said that no one could come to the Father except through Him, that He was THE Way!

Now I know what you’re thinking…you’re thinking, “That’s all well and good, Preston, but we’re not talking about going to Heaven this morning.  We’re talking about why God doesn’t just go ahead and give us the whole plan for our lives right up front.” Listen carefully.

The endgame of every plan that God has for your life is Heaven.

It is very important to understand that!  So when Jesus said, “I am THE WAY,” He wasn’t just talking about a singular moment in time, the moment when we’re ushered into eternity.  He was talking about a pathway, a lifestyle; He was talking about His plans for your life!  He is THE WAY!  That’s what Scripture means when it says:

⁸ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. ⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

When I’m inviting people to my house for the first time, they nearly always ask for directions, which makes sense.  But getting to my house is…complicated.  There are five turns once you’re in my subdivision!  So usually what I do is just send everyone a map, and that way they can print it out and take it with them when they’re heading my way.  So as long as they have the map, they know the way.

So a few weeks ago we hosted a wedding shower for Hummopolis (Refuge members Steve and Michelle Metropolis…a.k.a. Hummopolis), and Steve’s sister, Katie, called at one point asking for directions.  So to guide her to my place, because there are so many turns and it’s such a complicated neighborhood, I think I just stayed on the phone with her from the moment she pulled into the subdivision.  And she’d get to a stop sign, and I’d say, “Turn left.  Turn right.  Turn right.  Go around the circle.  Take your first right.  Turn left…5^th house on the left.”  I just walked her through nearly every step…step-by-step.  Because without the map, she was flying blind…and she needed someone to guide her…step-by-step…until she reached her destination.

We want a map!

We want God’s plan for our lives all laid out in front of us.  We want to see the plan, the whole plan, and nothing but the plan, so help us God!  But God…doesn’t cooperate with that, does He?  God doesn’t give us a map!  Know what we get?  We get Jesus!  The Way…and we get the Holy Spirit, who speaks to us to guide us along The Way…toward Jesus!  He’s not Mapquest; He’s a GPS, God Positioning System.  He’s turn-by-turn navigation.  And we have to stay on the phone, stay in contact with Him, so that we know which way to go with every new turn!  This is how Jesus described it:

¹³ When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. ¹⁴ He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me.  John 16:13-14 NLT

So there’s this beautiful picture of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit working in community together to guide us, to direct our paths, to help us avoid the obstacles of life, and to bring us safely home…because at the end of the day, that is really what it’s all about…getting home safely…making it to Heaven!

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. ⁶ Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

So Jesus is THE WAY, and the Holy Spirit is our turn-by-turn navigation.  But honestly…that doesn’t answer our question!  We asked, “Why?!”  Why would God make knowing “which path to take” contingent on us trusting Him, depending on Him, seeking Him?!  Why would He make it so personal, so challenging?  Why would He make following Him require such constant communi…cation with Him?

I heard a story once (don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a great illustration, either way) about a woman whose husband was not a Christian.  And she was so afraid that he would spend eternity separated from God and from their family that she prayed for his salvation, relentlessly, vehemently, every day.  And she just couldn’t understand why God wasn’t speaking to her.  “Tell me, God, when will you save him?  When will he begin a relationship with You?”

Finally, one day God relented and told her, “Five years from now, an evangelist named Tom Tippin (I made this name up) is going to come through your town.  Your husband will be at one of the services, invited by a friend, and he’ll give his life to Me.”

The woman was ecstatic, and so the first thing she did was do a vigorous search for Tom Tippin, whom she found and called.

“Please come preach a revival in my town.  My husband is lost, and God told me that you’re the one that will reach him.”

Imagine, then, how shocked she was when Tom Tippin replied by cursing her and cursing God!  You see, Tom Tippin wasn’t a Christian yet, either!

We can trust God and His plans for our lives; He just can’t always trust us!

When I graduated from high school, I wanted to do something to stay close to my Dad.  I lived at home at the time, but honestly, all I really did at home was sleep.  I was up at sun-up, and I’d get home around midnight.  Rinse and repeat.  And so I wanted to find something that I could do with him just so that I could spend time with him.  And so…much to the delight of golf ball manufacturers everywhere…I took up golf, which I am beyond terrible at!  I used to get so frustrated.  I lost so many balls!  I can’t stand not being good at something, but I just never had the time, the money, or the skill to get good at golf!  Arggh!

But you know what?  Who cares?!  Right?!  I didn’t take up golf to play golf; I took up golf to spend time with my Dad…because I knew that he loved golf.  The whole point was to be with him; that was it!  There was no other agenda.   Mission accomplished!  And sometimes, I think that that might be the whole point of the water hazards and the sand traps that we have to go through.  Sometimes I think that that might be the point of all the things that we have to lose in life along the way.

Sometimes I think that the whole point is just to spend time with our Dad!

You see I believe that the reason He doesn’t lay out our life plan once and for all is because it would rob Him of the joy that comes from us spending time with Him, getting to know Him, seeking His counsel and advice, learning to be like our Father!  And it would rob us, too!

Two years into college, I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life other than ministry.  I was in a Christian band, I was a volunteer youth worker at my church, and I had knocked out my core classes in those previous two years.  So one day I sat in the library at Armstrong Atlantic State University across from an English professor posing as my Advisor for the Day, and she just kept asking me what I wanted to do with my life!  I had no idea…because God hadn’t told me yet!

And all of a sudden she looked at me and asked, “Do you play piano?”

And I said, “Yes…how did you know that?”

“Because you’re playing the table,” she said.  “Have you ever considered majoring in music?”  And then she asked me a question that I’ll never forget.  “Would your Dad kill me if I told you you should major in music?”

I just smiled.  My Dad didn’t care what I majored in.  He just wanted to spend time with me…and vice versa!  And if you were to ask me who was more influential on the path that my life has taken thus far…my Dad or my makeshift college advisor…I would tell you categorically that my Father had a far greater impact on my life!  It might be true that for one day in my life that college advisor made a huge impression on me, but it was nothing compared to the impression that my Dad made on me…day in, day out…just doing life together!

Why doesn’t God give us the whole plan upfront?  Because He’s not a college advisor; He’s our Father!  And He just wants to spend time with us, to be intimately involved in our lives!  He would rather give us step-by-step instructions and experience the joyful intimacy that that brings than to lay out the whole plan all at once and never have any other meaningful life experiences with us again!

Why doesn’t God give us the whole plan once and for all?  Because we might mess it up!  We might get impatient…or drag our heals.  Most of us would insist on assuming the role of foreman of the project (our life project) if we knew all the details.  But even if we didn’t mess it up, God does not want to be our college advisor; He wants to be our Father!  He wants to do life with us!  He wants to communicate with us daily!  He wants to make a huge, perpetual impression on our lives!

So…what should you do when God tells you to do something?  You should do it.  And what should you do next?  Nothing.  Wait.  Seek Him.  Keep doing the last thing He told you to do!  Don’t stop!  He told you to do it for a reason!  He’s not going to give you the whole plan at once. Get passed that idol and move on! Embrace the joy that comes from daily interaction with Him.  Embrace the security that comes from having a GPS that will never leave us!  Embrace the mystery of His presence in our lives!  And while you’re at it, feel your way toward Him and find Him…because He’s not far from any of us!

This morning, some of you need to begin a real relationship with God…praying, reading, community, etc. You need to start listening for His voice and looking for alignment when He speaks!

For others, you need to put yourselves on the cross and put Him on the throne!  It’s time to stop demanding that He do everything your way and embrace His will for your life!

For others still, you need to stop holding God hostage; He’ll give you more information when you need it!  Quit crying and allow Him to grow patience during this season in your life!  You can trust Him!

And all of you…keep doing the last thing He told you to do…until He tells you to do something else!  And don’t worry, the best is yet to come!

Copyright 2010 www.prestonroydparrish.com

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The following is a transcript of a message originally delivered on Sunday, December 20, 2009 at The Refuge on Hilton Head Island, SC.  As you read, bear in mind that it was written to be a talk, not a blog, though I have slightly altered it in order to make it more literary in nature.  Enjoy…

Good morning, everyone!  Welcome to The Refuge!  We are so honored to get to worship with you today!  If you are here for the first time, we want you to know that you are in a safe place…no matter where you are on your spiritual journey, you belong here…and it is our prayer that we all leave this place a little closer to God than when we arrived!

Here we are just five days away from Christmas.  And although many people are thrilled and excited as the big day approaches, sociologists will also tell you that the holidays are a tremendous source of stress and angst for millions of Americans.  In fact, a study was recently commissioned in which sociologists were able to narrow down a way to tangibly measure holiday angst by simply asking one single question.  And so this morning, I’m going to ask you that question to measure your holiday angst.  Are you ready?

“Finished all your Christmas shopping yet?”

And with that, let’s move on.  Today we are continuing our series entitled, “Presence: The Real Gift of Christmas,” and the basic premise of the series is this.  Two thousand years ago Jesus was the first Christmas present, but today the real gift of Christmas is the Holy Spirit, God’s consistent presence in our lives!  And even though it’s a little taboo to talk about, we believe that if God exists, and if He was able to create everything…the stars, the oceans, the planets, life itself…then something as simple as speaking probably isn’t out of the realm of possibility.  In other words, we believe that God speaks…today…and that He has been speaking all along.  And we believe that He speaks today through His Holy Spirit.

In his Bible study Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby talks about the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives, and he says that the Holy Spirit speaks to us in at least four different ways.  So three weeks ago, we talked about how the Holy Spirit often speaks to us through other people.  And then two weeks ago, we said that the Holy Spirit speaks through Scripture.  And then this last week, we talked about the fact that He speaks to us through prayer and that it is incumbent on us to seek Him in prayer, to prioritize prayer, and to understand that prayer is a conversation, not a Christmas wish list!  Well today, I want to talk to you about the fourth way Blackaby says that the Holy Spirit speaks to us, and that is through circumstances.  And this might be the trickiest one of all.

I heard a story once about a man who got caught in a huge flood.  Weather reports had been warning residents to evacuate, but this man, being a strong believer in the divine providence of God, decided that he would wait it out and trust in God’s deliverance.  So while he was sitting out on his porch watching the flood waters rise, a police officer came by and offered to give him a ride to higher ground.

“Oh no, Officer; God will provide, ” he stated with confidence.

The waters continued to rise, so the man had to move to the second floor of his home.  Eventually a boat came by and offered him a route to safety.

“Oh, no thank you; God will provide, ” he matter-of-factly repeated.

The waters kept rising until finally he crawled out of his second story window and onto the roof.  About that time a helicopter flew overhead and dropped a rope ladder down to the desperate, stranded man.

“Go on without me,” the man shouted.  “God will provide!”

As the waters kept rising, the man was forced to tread water as he awaited divine providence.  Eventually, however, his weary arms and legs simply gave out, and he drowned.  In Heaven, the confused, disgruntled believer rushed up to God and asked, “Why God?  I trusted You for provision.  I waited for You.  Why didn’t You save me?”

God replied, “I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter; what do you want from me?!”

Sometimes it’s hard to read the circumstances!

We’ve talked several times during this series about Moses and the Israelites.  There was a time in their history when Moses led perhaps millions of Israelites out of slavery in Egypt.  But it wasn’t easy.  When he first appeared to Pharaoh and demanded that he free the Hebrew slaves, Pharaoh doubled their work load!  Even after God sent nine plagues on Egypt, Pharaoh still refused to let them go.  It took the death of every firstborn Egyptian son before he finally agreed to free them.  In fact, he didn’t just allow them to leave; he demanded that they go!  But once they left, Pharaoh changed his mind and dispatched the army to chase after them.  The Israelites, who were not trained fighters at all, panicked.  An army was attacking from the rear and the Red Sea was before them.  All the circumstances said, “We did the WRONG thing, and we are SO gonna pay for it!”  In fact, they even asked Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness?  Weren’t there enough graves in Egypt?”

Sometimes it’s hard to read the circumstances.  Sometimes the circumstances are deceptive.  Sometimes God works around the circumstances.  Sometimes God works through the circumstances.  And sometimes God works in spite of the circumstances, as He did with the Israelites that day.  Moses raised his staff, the Red Sea parted, the Israelites crossed safely, and Pharaoh’s army was washed away when the waters returned.

You can’t always judge the will of God based on circumstances.

But the problem is that I know people who attempt to discern His will almost exclusively by way of circumstances.  You know these people, right?  “God…show me a sign.  Give me a sign.  I’m going to put a fleece out on the ground.”

Every little thing becomes a sign from God…a cloud in the sky…a word in the newspaper…SQUIRREL!  It’s like the UP dog, you know, Dug?  In case you haven’t seen it, in the movie UP, Dug and his dog buddies are constantly distracted by squirrels, or at least by the thought of squirrels.  So they’re in mid-conversation and all of a sudden someone will yell, “Squirrel!” and they just stop and look.  And sometimes I think we look at circumstances that way.  Sometimes I think we abandon a consistent, steady, antiphonal dialogue with God in favor of the flavor of the month, in favor of crazy circumstances, in favor of “SQUIRREL!”

“Show me a sign, God!  I don’t want to do the hard work of learning to communicate with you!  I don’t want to pray and read my Bible.  I don’t want to seek wise counsel from others.  I just want You to write it in the stars.”  SQUIRREL!

Now for a guy who’s supposed to be talking about how God speaks through circumstances, I seem pretty down on them, don’t I?  But I’m not.  God speaks through circumstances.  He does…A LOT!  We just have to be careful that we don’t come to rely on them as God’s exclusive means of communication.

A few years ago, I was working as a Student Ministries Pastor in Savannah, and I felt like God was going to be moving me soon.  And all of a sudden, I started seeing these license plates.  At first, I didn’t think anything about it.  But then, over and over, the car in front of me would have a license plate with three letters on it…AWT (or something like that…I can’t remember exactly).  And so I started wondering, “Is God trying to tell me something?  Is He going to lead me to do something SO RADICAL that I will need a MAJOR sign of confirmation?”

And I even started praying about.   And you will NEVER believe what happened next?  NOTHING! Time went on.  I continued to see those license plates.  And then one day I learned that Chatham County had recently release new license plates, and apparently the three letter sequence I kept seeing was just a really common one on the new tags.  So thankfully I didn’t quit my job and apply for a job at Applied Water Technologies (which is listed on the New York Stock Exchange as AWT)!  Why?  Because circumstances can be deceptive!

But circumstances can also be very telling.  It can be dangerous when we try to use circumstances as the only gauge for what the Holy Spirit is speaking to us.  But when we use circumstances in conjunction with the other ways that the Spirit speaks, they become a tremendous tool!  Think back to the time of Jesus’ birth.  There had been prophecies that the Messiah would come for 4,000 years!  Every Jewish person had heard the story.  Every Jewish scholar knew that the timing was right…Daniel had predicted His arrival almost to the day!  And so can you imagine what Joseph (Jesus’ earthly father) must have been thinking as the events surrounding his Son’s birth started to fulfill those prophecies, the prophecies that he had been taught all his life!  I mean here’s Joseph, engaged to this young “virgin” girl…who just showed up pregnant…riiiight!  And if that wasn’t enough, an “angel” appeared to Mary…and told her that the child was conceived by the Holy Spirit…riiiight!  So all of this was probably a little much to take in for Joseph…except that it was happening exactly the way the Scriptures said it would!

¹⁴ All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’).  Isaiah 7:14 NLT

And now…Joseph’s virgin wife…is pregnant…and God is speaking through the circumstances.

“This is my Son.  This is the One you’ve been waiting for.”

And in case Joseph missed it, an angel also appeared to him…to let him know that Mary was telling the truth about her pregnancy and that he shouldn’t divorce her.  Huh.  Go figure.  And while she was pregnant, when she visited her cousin, Elizabeth, who was also pregnant, Elizabeth’s baby, John the Baptist, actually leapt in the womb at the sound of Mary’s voice.  Huh.  Go figure.  And three months later, Caesar Augustus actually issued a decree that forced Joseph to travel to Bethlehem to register for a census just as Mary was ready to give birth, thereby fulfilling the prophecy that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem.

⁶ ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah, are not least among the ruling cities of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.’”  Matthew 2:6 NLT

Huh.  Go figure.

God was still speaking through the circumstances.  I mean what are the odds that a couple who lived in Nazareth in the region of Galilee would have their baby in Bethlehem in the region of Judea.  And by the way, when Jesus was born, an angel choir announced His birth to nearby shepherds.

Huh.  Go figure.

And wise men came from the Far East to find and worship Him, too.  How did they find Him?  They followed a star!!!!

Huh!  Go figure!

Think about it.  Even if Joseph had been able to dismiss the angel visitation as some sort of hallucination (after all, most of us have a way of rationalizing the supernatural when it does happen in our lives), I find it hard to believe that his faith and confidence didn’t grow exponentially with each fulfilled prophecy.  God was speaking…through the circumstances!  God was communicating…it was very clear to anyone who would look at the situation objectively that this was the work of God!

About two months ago, Rachell Rivera (member of The Refuge) came to me with fire in her eyes and said, “We need to support families for Thanksgiving.  I’ve contacted Bluffton Self-Help and told them we could take four families.”

And then Debbie Stewart (member of The Refuge) found out that we could purchase a whole Thanksgiving meal for $36 through Angel Food Ministries.  And so we started thinking, “We can support more than four families if it’s only going to cost $36/meal.”

So we took a leap of faith, based on what we sensed God was leading us to do, and we pre-purchased twenty meals.  Fast forward: you guys were so generous that we paid for all those meals.  But when Rachell called back to let Bluffton Self-Help know that we had more meals than we originally thought we would, they told us that they didn’t need our food anymore…they had it covered.  So there we were with twenty Thanksgiving meals, purchased by you, but we didn’t know of anyone who could benefit from them.

So we asked Johnnie Hamlin (member of The Refuge) who works in social services to ask around, and she called CAPA – Child Abuse Prevention Association.  When she asked them if they needed any food for the people they were serving this Thanksgiving, they told her, “Yes…desperately…we need twenty meals!”  Twenty meals!  Not twenty-one, not nineteen – twenty meals!  God speaks through circumstances!  At that moment, if there had been any doubts before, we knew that God had guided the whole process!  He had a plan all along that we knew nothing about!  And to get us to carry it out, He spoke to us through prayer and through circumstances.  And when it was all over, He used circumstances to remind us that He is still God – ever-present, ever-sovereign!

Now you might say, “Preston, that’s great.  But how in the world am I supposed to know when the Holy Spirit is actively speaking to me through circumstances?  I mean if circumstances are so deceptive, how do I discern His will in my circumstances above my own will or someone else’s will?”  And you see, this is the MILLION DOLLAR question!  Because at the heart of this question is the key to hearing the Holy Spirit when He speaks into your life.  And the question doesn’t just pertain to circumstances, but to all of the ways that the Holy Spirit speaks.  You see God speaks through people, but so does the Devil [bad advice, criticism, discouragement, etc.].  God speaks through Scripture, but so does the Devil [like when he twisted Scripture to tempt Jesus in the wilderness].  And God speaks through prayer, but so does the devil [a thought here, a whisper there].

The key…is alignment.  When Joseph began seeing the pieces of the puzzle falling into place in the form of his Son, Jesus, Scripture and circumstances worked in tandem to communicate God’s will for his life.  Joseph knew the Scriptures, and he listened for God’s voice in the midst of his circumstances.  And if we want to hear God speak, I mean really hear Him speak, faithfully, consistently, then we’ve got to understand the concept of alignment.

I mentioned earlier that it can be dangerous when we try to use circumstances as the only gauge for what the Holy Spirit is speaking to us.  But the same can be said of His other means of communication, too!  There are times when I open up the Bible and the words just come screaming off the pages at me.  But there are other times when I struggle to hear God speak through Scripture, especially if I’m searching for answers about something very specific.

There are times when God speaks through someone else with such clarity that I feel like God Himself is standing right in front of me.  But then there are other times when every person I talk to gives me a different answer.

There are times when His voice seems to resonate with crystal clarity in prayer.  And there are other times when it feels like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling.

So how am I supposed to hear Him when He speaks?  I have to look for alignment.  If I sense God speaking something to me during prayer, I begin to look for confirmation in Scripture, in my circumstances, and through others.  If I read something that resonates in my heart, I begin seeking God in prayer about that, bouncing it off of other people, and looking for practical ways to apply it to my life.  If everyone I love is telling me the same thing, I start praying hard about what they’re telling me and look for confirmation in Scripture and in my circumstances.  If God seems to be aligning the stars of my circumstances, I search the Scriptures, seek Him in prayer, and bounce the ideas off of someone else.  Inevitably, if God is speaking in one of these four ways, He’s speaking in at least two or three of them.  The key…is alignment!

Give yourself the greatest gift you could possibly give this year.  Tap into His presence!  Seek Him like never before!  Learn to be listening when He speaks!  And then do what He tells you to do!  That’s what Christmas Presence is all about!

Copyright 2010 www.prestonroydparrish.com

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I originally wrote this as a small group discussion, but I have altered the formatting slightly to be more blog-friendly.  It was used in December 2009 for the Community Groups of The Refuge on Hilton Head Island, SC.  I hope you enjoy…

Have you ever felt like your prayers were hitting the ceiling?  Does it ever feel like the heavens are made out of brass?

All of us can probably relate to a time when the thing that we wanted or needed most seemed to be little more than a pipe dream.  If we were honest, most of us would admit that we’ve had moments when we desperately needed to hear from God, yet He was mysteriously silent.  What are we supposed to do when God seems so distant and disinterested?  What conclusions can be drawn from His silence?  And how are we supposed to fulfill His call on our lives if we can’t even get close enough to Him to hear His voice?

Have you ever experienced a time or season in your life when it seemed like the heavens were brass and God was silent?

Job was a man that Scripture describes as “blameless – a man of complete integrity” (Job 1:1).  Yet Job experienced one of the most horrific tragedies recorded in Scripture, the loss of his health, the loss of his possessions, and the loss of all ten of his children in a single day!  Even those closest to him seemed to turn on him.  God was silent, seemingly unwilling to repair or explain the tragedy.  His wife was hopeless, advising him to “curse God and die.”  And his friends were relentless, insisting that his difficulties were simply a punishment from God for sin.  After several heated exchanges, Job confronted his detractors and their accusations, in part to defend his reputation, and in part to prepare for his next confrontation…with God.

Read Job 13:11-19 NLT:

7 “Are you defending God with lies? Do you make your dishonest arguments for his sake? 8 Will you slant your testimony in his favor? Will you argue God’s case for him? 9 What will happen when he finds out what you are doing? Can you fool him as easily as you fool people? 10 No, you will be in trouble with him if you secretly slant your testimony in his favor. 11 Doesn’t his majesty terrify you? Doesn’t your fear of him overwhelm you? 12 Your platitudes are as valuable as ashes. Your defense is as fragile as a clay pot. 13 Be silent now and leave me alone. Let me speak, and I will face the consequences. 14 Yes, I will take my life in my hands and say what I really think. 15 God might kill me, but I have no other hope. I am going to argue my case with him. 16 But this is what will save me—I am not godless. If I were, I could not stand before him. 17 Listen closely to what I am about to say. Hear me out. 18 I have prepared my case; I will be proved innocent. 19 Who can argue with me over this? And if you prove me wrong, I will remain silent and die.

Some noteworthy highlights…

Job accused his friends of falsely claiming to speak for God (vv. 7-10).

Job determined that his last recourse was to tell God how he really felt and to argue his case before Him (vv. 14-15).

Job was convinced that his relationship with God gave him the right to present his case to Him (vv. 15-16).

Job’s friends ultimately assumed that his difficulties were a punishment for sin.  What was fundamentally wrong with their logic?

Job’s friends ascribed to the “bad things only happen to bad people” theory.  They were such firm believers in karma that they relentless pressed him to repent of a sin that he hadn’t committed.  One of the most enduring truths from the book of Job is that bad things DO happen to “good” people, often through no fault of their own.

How can/does sin contribute to the challenges that people face today?  How does sin affect a person’s ability to connect with God and hear His voice during times of crisis?  Explain your answer.

Although bad things DO happen to good people through no fault of their own, bad things also happen as a result of poor choices and decisions.  Sometimes sin is the reason for the challenges people face.  Job was convinced that because his relationship with God was in good standing (and free of un-repented sin), it was okay for him to press God for answers.  Sin is always a barrier in our relationship with God, and it only extends and exacerbates the times when God seems silent.

If God really does love us and desire intimacy with us, why do you think He forces us to endure “periods of silence,” times when He seems so quiet and distant?

When God seems distant, we tend to seek Him with greater fervor.  This is beneficial to us for several reasons.  First, we learn new things about Him when we seek him with greater intensity.  Second, we hone our listening skills, developing a greater sensitivity to His voice (like when a teacher whispers to her class).  Third, we realize how desperately we need Him every day, which causes us to trust Him more.  Ultimately we may never know the specific reasons for God’s perceived distance at any given moment; after all, He’s God…and we’re not!  What’s important to remember is that His silence is no more a referendum on His love for us than bad circumstances are.  His love was settled once and for all when Jesus died on the cross!

How do you think God responds today when people pour their hearts out to Him and/or plead their cases before Him?

Even though Job feared for his life (vv. 14-15), he refused to leave any stone unturned because he had “no other hope” but God (v. 15)!  He sought answers, even demanding them at times, because his relationship with God was the most important thing in his life!  Fulfilling God’s call on our lives requires that same type of relationship, one marked and nurtured by consistent communication with Him.  In other words, we can’t follow Him if we can’t hear His voice!  When God seems silent and the heavens are brass, He is still speaking…and He’s calling us to seek Him with greater passion and intensity than ever before!  And if we’re like Job, if we “have no other hope,” we will!

Job refused to allow anything (poor health, extreme tragedy, discouragement, and betrayal) to keep him from seeking after God when He seemed distant.  Has there ever been a time when you allowed someone or something to keep you from seeking after God with all your heart.

What do you do to try to get God’s attention when it feels like He is silent?

What practical step will you take this week to seek God with greater passion and intensity while trusting His promises and intentions, even if/when He seems silent?

Further Reading: Job 1-3, Job 13-14, Job 38, Job 39-40, Job 41-42, Luke 11, Matthew 6-7

Copyright 2010 www.prestonroydparrish.com

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The following is a transcript of a message originally delivered on Sunday, December 13, 2009 at The Refuge on Hilton Head Island, SC.  As you read, bear in mind that it was written to be a talk, not a blog, though I have slightly altered it in order to make it more literary in nature.  Enjoy…

Good morning, everyone!  Twelve days!!!!!!  Can you believe that we are less than two weeks away from Christmas?  Last time I spoke we had a month to go!

Today we are continuing our series entitled, “Presence: The Real Gift of Christmas, ” and the basic premise of the series is this.  Even though it’s a little taboo to talk about, we believe that if God exists, and if He was able to create everything…the stars, the oceans, the planets, life itself…then something as simple as speaking probably isn’t out of the realm of possibility.  In other words, we believe that God speaks…today…and that He has been speaking all along.

In fact, Scripture says that long ago He spoke to people through prophets [Hebrews 1:1], that He would choose specific people to be His mouthpiece and speak through them.  So if you wanted to “hear from God,” you had to find a prophet who would serve as a conduit or a liaison between you and God.  Now this went on for thousands of years until about two thousand years ago, when Scripture tells us that God sent His Son, Jesus [Hebrews 1:2], into the world and began speaking through Him!  And most of us know about this, right?  I mean this is what Christmas is all about, right, the birth of Jesus, the coming of a Savior?

But is it?  I mean Jesus came…but then He left!  And while He was here, you had the same problem as before.  If you wanted to “hear from God,” you had to find Jesus.  And if Jesus came to where you were, it meant He has just left someone else.  So God really wasn’t much more accessible than He was before!  And then…Jesus left permanently!  Close anyway…2000 years and counting, right?!  Some Christmas present!  I like to keep my presents; how ‘bout you?!  But Jesus didn’t leave us empty-handed, did He?  He said:

⁷ But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you… John 16:7 NLT

¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. ^17a He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth…John 14:16-17a NLT

You see, if Jesus was the embodiment of Immanuel (God with us), then the Holy Spirit is the delivery system; He is the personification of Immanuel.  He is ever-present!  He is always there!  He is the song that doesn’t end.  He is the real gift of Christmas!  Two thousand years ago Jesus was the first Christmas present, but today the gift is His presence!  And we believe that God is still speaking to us today through His presence, through His Holy Spirit.

Now in his Bible study Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby talks about the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives, how God speaks to us today not through prophets, not through God-in-the-flesh, but through His Spirit.  So two weeks ago we talked about the fact that the Holy Spirit often speaks to us through other people.  So if you’re one of those people that won’t listen to anyone when you’ve got your mind made up, the odds are good that you’re going to miss something that God is trying to speak to you through others.  Then last week, Bob (Bob Hinely, Discipleship Pastor at The Refuge) reminded us that one of the primary ways the Holy Spirit speaks to us today is through Scripture.  And I hope that all of you began reading your Bibles (or amped up your reading) this week.

Well today, I want to talk to you about another way that the Holy Spirit speaks to us, and that is through prayer.  Okay…be honest.  How many of you, when you think about praying, get excited?  How many of you, when you think about praying, get bored?  How many of you just…don’t really think about praying?!  We all kind of have a different concept of what prayer really is.  If you grew up in the churches I grew up in, you might picture an altar flooded with people laying hands on each other when you think of prayer.  If your background is a little more traditional, you might think of kneeling before a priest when you think of prayer.  And if some of us are really honest, when we think of prayer, we think of sleeping…HARD!  BORING!

Yesterday I checked my email, and lo and behold (you can’t plan this stuff), I had received an email that said this: “’Enjoying Prayer’ is now following you on Twitter.”  (You can follow me on Twitter, too!  www.twitter.com/prestonparrish)

Are you kidding me?  I mean putting aside the obvious oddity of getting this email as I’m preparing this message, I was most excited just to learn that somebody somewhere actually enjoys prayer!  (I think they’re from Minnesota…there’s nothing else to do there in the wintertime, anyway!)

But, I digress…so I’m driving down the road this week in the rain with my little ones and my son, Preston, out of the blue says, “Daddy, I prayed to God and asked Him to make it stop raining.”

And I just thought, “Oh boy.” (no pun intended) I mean I’ve really been struggling with this concept, because how do explain prayer to a five-year-old?  I want my kids to pray; I do.  I want my kids to go to God when they need something.  I want them to have a relationship with Him, and the best way that I know to cultivate a relationship with God is through prayer.  But for my little ones, their entire concept of prayer to this point in their lives consists of asking Him for things when they need it!  Think about that for a minute…I mean if the only time they ever talked to me was when they were asking me for something, I wouldn’t feel like their father; I’d feel like their butler.  But it seems like that’s all they understand prayer to be…a wish list…for Santa.  How immature is that?!  Thank goodness we don’t think…that…

See I think that’s the problem. I think the problem is that many of us have a very immature perspective on prayer.  For some of us, I think the only time we actually pray is when we’re asking for something.  We don’t treat God like our Father; we treat Him like our butler!  And why not, right?  We’ve probably all heard some televangelist (bless their hearts…they’re not all bad) quote John 15:7:

⁷ But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!  John 15:7 NLT

Oh…Genie God!  You see, for some of us, that’s what we think God is…a genie.  And since He’s a genie, we’re Genie Prayers – that’s the extent of our understanding of prayer.  “God, this is what I want; You said I get three wishes!”

And some people get passionate about this.  They walk around…“claiming” things.  “I prayed about that; I claimed it.”  Well, good for you, Columbus, but God’s not a genie!

If you really study John 15 (which you should do when you go home today), you’ll find that this verse doesn’t teach that God’s gives us “unlimited wishes” like a genie; instead He gives us an unlimited capacity to produce fruit…to do good things for Him!  And I was never taught that growing up!  It’s all in the context.  And then we read something like this:

⁹ “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  Luke 11:9 NLT

Oh…I get it!  Slot Machine Jesus!  See some of us don’t think God is a genie, but we do think He’s a slot machine!  And if we just keep asking enough times, eventually the odds will be in our favor, and God will give in!  So we’re Slot Machine Prayers – that’s the extent of our understanding of prayer, and we just keep pulling that handle!

Here’s the problem with that…we might be right.  When Israel wanted a king, God warned them, “You don’t want a king; trust Me.  A king will enlist your sons in the army.  He’ll marry off and enslave your daughters.  He’ll tax you.”

But Israel wouldn’t listen.  Know what God did?  He gave them what they wanted.  Know what the kings did?  Exactly what God said they would.  And ultimately, the kings led Israel to her decline and defeat as a nation!

There are others…some of us think we serve Lottery Ticket God.  We believe that there’s a specific sequence of events that will force God to answer our prayers.  You’ve seen people like this before.  First…you have to pray…and you have to mean it…and you mean it by getting loud!  And then you have to clap afterward.  And then you have to say, “I believe, I believe” when you’re done.  Or maybe you have to fast, and then you have to pray.  Or you have to pray, and then you have to fast.  Or maybe you have to fast while you pray.  And then read your Bible.  And then click your heals together three times and say, “There’s no place like home!”

You’ve just got to get the right sequence.  And if you do, bingo…you’ll win the lottery…you’ll get what you want!  Oh…but next time, it’s a whole new sequence…you have to start from scratch and figure it out all over again!  So we’re Lottery Ticket Prayers – that’s the extent of our understanding of prayer.

What’s wrong with all of these?  They’re all about what we can get from God.  And that is not what prayer is all about!  We’re here this morning to talk about the fact that the Holy Spirit speaks to us through prayer!  He talks…communicates…and if all we’re ever doing is talking and asking and demanding and claiming and we’re never listening, we’re going to miss the whole point of prayer!  And when we do listen, if all we listen for is a “yes,” we’ve still missed the point!  Because prayer is about relationship.  It’s a conversation between you and God.  That’s why I said earlier that the best way that I know to cultivate a relationship with God is through prayer!  After all, that’s how Jesus did it!

¹⁶…Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.  Luke 5:16 NLT

Why in the world would Jesus need to pray?  I don’t know…maybe He just missed His Dad.  Maybe He just missed being able to look over at God the Father and have a conversation.  Maybe He was starving for the intimacy with His Dad that Heaven had afforded Him.  Why would Jesus need to pray?  Maybe He just wanted to.  Maybe He understand that to build a relationship with someone, you have to communicate with him.  Maybe He missed the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit whispering, “I love You.  We belong together.”  So He would retreat to the quiet, lonely, barren wilderness…to pray.

A story is told of an old man, a priest, who didn’t have a child.  For years he had served God faithfully.  For years he had made good decisions.  And for years he had prayed, “God, please give me a son.  Please give me a son.”  But all of those prayers seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.  I can imagine his frustration as his hair began to gray.  I can imagine his disillusionment as men and women half his age had children.  I can imagine his questions.  “Why, God…why?  I’ve been faithful.  I’ve been obedient.”  And honestly, if I can use my imagination for a minute, I wouldn’t be surprised he ran the gamut…Genie Praying (“God, you owe me this…I claim it.”), Slot Machine Praying (“God, do it.  God, do it.  God, do it.”), and even Lottery Ticket Praying (“I’ll offer sacrifices and then fast and then pray and then I’ll tell everyone that I’m going to have a son in faith believing and God will HAVE to do it!”).  But even if he had tried any or all of those things, they hadn’t worked.  And then one day, he was called to serve in the Temple.

¹¹ While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar. ¹² Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him. ¹³ But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John.  Luke 1:11-13 NLT

Can you imagine?  After years of waiting…how thrilling…how exhilarating…how…ANNOYING!  I can just imagine his thoughts.

“Why, God?  All these years I’ve been praying, waiting, hoping…what took You so long?!”

But what Zechariah didn’t know until the angel appeared to him that day is that his son would be the harbinger of Jesus, the forerunner, the one who would announce His arrival, the one who would baptize Him in the Jordan River.  Zechariah’s son was John the Baptist!

And I can just imagine God the Father one day looking down on the earth for a suitable home for the harbinger of His Son, Jesus.

“Who will be worthy to announce the arrival of my Son?  Who will be worthy to baptize Him?  Who?  He must come from a good family, with godly parents.”

You see, I don’t believe that God the Father wanted to leave the announcement of His Son to just anyone.  I believe He was looking for a godly home, a godly father and mother, who had served Him faithfully, who had cultivated a relationship with Him through prayer consistently, who had sought Him relentlessly, and who had never stopped believing that God could do the impossible!  And that is just what He found in Zechariah!  Despite years of unanswered prayers, Zechariah never stopped seeking the heart of God…and God never forgot about Zechariah!

The Holy Spirit still speaks today…through prayer!  You probably won’t see an angel, and He will not always say yes…guaranteed!  But He will speak…usually in a still, small voice…a whisper…“I love you.  We belong together.  Go there.  Fix this.  Change that.  Let me help.”

I want to ask you a question.  When you pray, are you listening?  Are you even praying?  When was the last time that you went off into the quiet, lonely, barren wilderness to seek His face in prayer?  When was the last time that He whispered something to you in your prayer closet?

Maybe you’re out there right now, unsure of who God is, but this morning, you’ve felt the tug and heard the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit as He’s said, “It’s time to seek me like you never have before.”  And this morning, you’re finally ready to listen.

Maybe you’ve been serving Him, but you haven’t been seeking Him like you should.  And this morning, you’re ready to begin the relationship with Him that you’ve always dreamed of but never embraced.

I believe God is calling us as a church to set aside time every day to seek Him in prayer.  ”How much time?” you might ask.  How much do you need Him?  How badly do you want Him?  See I believe that God is tired of the excuses (of why we don’t pray) and that He’s just looking for a godly father, a godly mother, a godly son or daughter who will served Him faithfully, seek Him relentlessly, listen to Him attentively, and never stop believing in the impossible!

I believe that God is seeking you!  Will you seek Him?!

Copyright 2010 www.prestonroydparrish.com

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